When I say husband, I want to be clear that this could be your spouse, your partner, or your relationship—whatever that looks like for you.

I also want to say this before we begin: if you are not in a safe relationship, please know this may not apply to you. Showing up should never mean losing yourself, accepting unhealthy behavior, or carrying something you were never meant to carry alone.

But for those of us in healthy relationships, I think many of us want the same thing.

We want to feel seen.
We want to feel loved.
We want to know someone is in our corner.

And if I'm being honest, showing up for my husband isn't usually about grand romantic gestures.

It's about the small things.

Showing Up Starts with Listening

One of my favorite questions comes from John Delony:

"How can I love you today?"

If I'm being honest, I don't ask it nearly enough.

Sometimes I phrase it differently, but I love the simplicity of that question because what it really says is:

I see you.
I care about you.
I want to understand what you need.

Showing up for my husband starts with listening before assuming.

Because sometimes we think we know what people need.

And sometimes we're completely wrong.

The people we love are constantly changing and growing. The things they need today may not be the things they needed a year ago—or even last week.

Listening helps us stay connected to who they are right now.

Sometimes Showing Up Looks Ordinary

For me, showing up also means trying to make his life a little easier where I can.

Now trust me—I can't do everything for him.

Life is busy. We both have responsibilities. We both work hard.

But showing up can look incredibly ordinary.

Like making sure the coffee is ready.

Sometimes I even set out his coffee cup.

And you guys are going to think I'm crazy, but I've even used the last bit of creamer and opened the new container the night before because I hate doing that first thing in the morning—and I know he does too.

So I put it at the front of the fridge.

No pulling off the plastic seal.
No splashing creamer all over the counter.
It's just ready.

Because love isn't always huge grand gestures.

Sometimes love looks like pre-opening the creamer.

And honestly, I think that's showing up.

Hard Conversations Are Showing Up Too

Showing up isn't always about making life easier.

Sometimes it's about being honest.

Showing up for my husband means having hard conversations when something is bothering me.

Because if I want to be fully present in my relationship—if I want to give 100%—I can't hide parts of myself.

If I avoid conversations, stay quiet when something matters, or pretend everything is fine when it isn't, then I'm not being honest with him.

And that's not fair to either of us.

Hard conversations aren't rejection.

They're investment.

They're choosing the relationship enough to work through the uncomfortable things instead of pretending they don't exist.

Care About What They Care About

Showing up for my husband also means caring about the things he cares deeply about.

And in our house, we all know what that thing is.

Fishing.

Now showing up doesn't mean I need to be in the boat every weekend.

It doesn't mean I suddenly become passionate about fishing.

It simply means I support what brings him joy.

I'm happy that he's happy.

I ask questions.
I listen to the stories.
I celebrate the wins.

Because when you love someone, what matters to them starts to matter to you because they matter to you.

Be Their Biggest Encourager

And one more thing.

Showing up for my husband means believing in him.

Speaking life into him.

Encouraging him.

Because life can be hard.

Work can be exhausting.
Responsibilities can feel heavy.
People carry burdens we don't always see.

I want home to be the place where he knows someone is in his corner.

Someone who sees him.

Someone who believes in him.

Someone reminding him who he is when life gets loud.

Maybe Love Is Found in the Little Things

Maybe showing up in marriage isn't really about grand romantic gestures.

Maybe it's the little things.

Listening.

Asking.

Supporting.

Having hard conversations.

Pre-opening the creamer.

Being in their corner.

Showing up doesn't always look big.

Sometimes it just looks consistent.

And maybe that's what love really is:

Choosing each other over and over again in a hundred small ways.