We all have moments when someone’s words or actions get under our skin — a rude comment, a driver cutting us off, or someone reacting harshly when we didn’t deserve it.

But here’s something I remind myself (and my kids) all the time:
Don’t change who you are because of how someone else behaves.

Stay True to Who You Are

If you’re a caring, kind, compassionate person, don’t let someone else’s lack of kindness change that about you.

It’s so easy to react — to meet someone’s bad attitude with our own. But when we do that, we’re letting them decide who we get to be in that moment. And the truth is, that rarely feels good afterward.

You know that feeling after you’ve reacted out of frustration, and later you think, “I wish I had handled that differently.”
That’s what I’m talking about.

I tell my kids all the time — if someone is unkind to you, you don’t have to be unkind back. Their behavior doesn’t get to define your character.

Being Kind Doesn’t Mean Being a Doormat

Now, let’s be clear — this doesn’t mean putting up with bad behavior or letting people walk all over you.

Being kind and compassionate can sometimes mean being honest, setting boundaries, or having tough conversations that might hurt in the moment but come from a place of love.

You can still be strong, assertive, and true to your values without losing your kindness in the process.

Don’t Give Away Your Power

When we let someone else’s attitude change ours, we’re handing them our power. And sometimes, they don’t even know it. They’re not asking for it — we’re just giving it away.

Every time we replay the story, vent to someone else, or hold onto that anger, we’re keeping that negative energy alive. But once we let it go, we take our power back.

You can acknowledge hurt or frustration without letting it define your day — or your character.

A Little Reminder for the Next Time

The next time someone frustrates you, whether it’s a stranger in traffic or a friend who snapped at you, pause and remember this:

👉 Don’t change who you are because of someone else.

You don’t have to match their energy. You don’t have to mirror their reaction.
You get to choose how you show up — and staying true to who you are will always feel better in the end.